The Incredible Blog

  • Still in New Delhi

    12/15/08

    Hello all, 

         Anjali and I are still in New Delhi.  It is morning on our sixth day.  New Delhi is a city like New York, in that you could stay here indefinitely, as there are always things to do and discover, from a vast and variegated restaurant, bar and club scene, to infinite shopping districts of all varieties, including handicraft stalls and the fanciest, flashiest modern malls you have ever seen, to things even New York City cannot provide, such as ancient ruins inside city limits, like the Mughal Tughluqabad Fort, and the Qutb Minar complex, which we have visited.  Writing about a lot of these ancient sites, or a unique edifice like the Baha’i Lotus Temple, is really difficult without showing you photos, but I don’t know if I will be able to do that until I post them on my blog after our return.  I’m taking very high-res digital photos, and without access to an editing program like photoshop, it would be nigh impossible to send them over most Indian internet connections, especially not a lot of them.
         I am slowly adjusting to the 14-15 hour time difference, and getting to the point where I am not awake in the middle of the night for hours, like I was the first several nights.  I am awake far earlier than I would be in Portland, as our hosts have three children with very early schedules, and the very busy road outside the apartment where we are staying is constantly noisy, especially after dawn. The road is a brand new experiment for Delhi.  It is called a BRT, and Delhi-ites are acronym crazy, yet I don’t know the meanings of a lot of the acronyms.  The road is divided into lanes: one for cars, scooters, motorcycles and autorickshaws, one for buses, one for bicyclists and cycle rickshaws, and sidewalks for pedestrians.  Apparently the car-driving locals (5-10% of the population) aren’t happy about it, as it is becomes very congested.  It is not strictly obeyed, and many motorcycles and scooters (and even cars we are told!) will use the bicycle lane, much to the danger of the poor bicyclists.  There are traffic security personnel at the crosswalks during the day, and I was afraid of getting a ticket for jaywalking, only to realize that the security were there to try to get the cars to stop when the crosswalk turned green, because the cars don’t on their own.  I didn’t see any tickets being handed out, just security putting their hands out to motion to the cars to stop, which they do, after a while.  
         We have been doing a fair amount of walking, as there are many varied, interesting shopping districts within walking distance of our apartment.  Since the autorickshaws charge us a whitey surcharge that doubles the price, and which they won’t budge on, walking is much less of a hassle, if you can handle lots of stares, the smell of open sewers, and you don’t mind negotiating the occasional bull.  India now has a Kiehl’s, a Body Shop, and a very fancy local shop along those lines, where small bottles of shampoo or sunscreen lotion are $12 US and petite bars of soap are $4 US.  In Delhi you can pay as much or as little as you want for a meal, clothing, household items, you name it.  There are options for the poorest workers in society who with a six-day work week might make $80 US a month, and options for the richest, who want to go to a restaurant where the entrees are $30 or more US, and an alcoholic drink might be $20. In some cases the upper-end prices here seem more expensive to me than New York, and certainly Portland, and I think spending an ungodly amount on things is one way upper-class Delhi-ites assert their status.
         I have a lot of other things I would like to touch on, but I don’t have the time now.  We are off to the train station to buy tickets to Amristar, Punjab, home to the Golden Temple, Sikhism’s holiest site.  We are very used to Delhi now, and it would be a very relaxing trip to spend a lot more time here, despite what an incredibibly crowded, noisy, filthy, congested city it is.  However, we want to cover a lot of ground on this trip, a lot more than we did five years ago, so we need to shake off inertia and keep moving, although we will probably come back through Delhi on our way to visiting Anjali’s grandmother in Jabalpur, Madhya Pradesh for Christmas.
    Everyone take care, and for all of you in Portland, enjoy the snow, I’m sorry I am missing it.
    Stephen

  • Alive in India

    12/11/08

      It is the end of my second full day in New Delhi.  Anjali and I lost 48 hours on the way here, between loooong flights and changing time zones.  It is “Winter” here which means I sweat a fair amount during the day, and it is pleasantly cool at night.  The pollution here is far more noticeable than when we were here nearly five years ago.  The sky is only clear directly above, everywhere else is hazy, and the sun is orange or red the first and last third of its journey during the day.  Currently my nose is on constant drip from  allergies, whether due to the pollution or some green thing (which there are a lot of in this area full of parks, even if they are all covered in dust) I don’t know.
         We are staying in Panchsheel Enclave with our friends Michael and Susan and their children.  We almost didn’t make it to their home when we arrived from the airport.  It was 1am by the time we made it through Immigration and got our baggage.  In the sea of drivers waiting outside the airport holding up people’s names we saw no sign of our names, or the driver that was supposed to be sent for us.  We realized that we had foolishly forgotten to write down Michael and Susan’s phone number or address before we left Portland.  I figured we would have to re-enter the airport, find a phone, make a last-minute reservation at a hotel and take a pre-paid taxi there, or be taken for a ride by some unscrupulous cabbie hanging outside the airport to a dodgy hotel of his choice where he would make a fat commission at our expense.  That’s how things work here.  Fortunately while I stood attempting to guard far too much luggage filled with gifts for friends and relatives in India (far too much to really “guard” given all the people I was surrounded by who could have easily grabbed a stray bag) Anjali made four or more attempts at wading through the sea of drivers to find ours, and she finally returned with one bearing a “Miss Anjali” sign.  When we got to his cab he placed one suitcase on its side on the roof, and one standing up, braced only by a maaaybe four-inch high railing.  It looked very precarious, and when Anjali asked if he was going to be tying it he shook his head and simply said, “Safety Driver.”  The long drive to Susan and Michael’s found me straining my head out the back to make sure there was no suitcase bouncing along the highway behind us.  Every bump and jump had me reflexively tense up, thinking that that was the bounce which would send the luggage flying.  I was reminded of how Indian driving works when there were two trucks in the two lanes ahead of us, and the cab driver decided to create a third lane between the two trucks while they appeared to be veering in towards us.  Fortunately there was one seatbelt for Anjali, which is one seatbelt in a cab than there normally are.  Let’s not even talk about auto rickshaws, one of which we saw flipped upside down, surrounded by people,  and stopping all traffic on the highway today.  The luggage made it safely to Susan and Michael’s along with us.  
         Michael teaches at the Embassy School, and we joined him today for some “educational tourism” assisting  his efforts at an NGO school where he volunteers. We led Indian kindergarteners and first-graders in sing-alongs such as “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” and “The Wheels on the Bus” in an attempt at teaching them some English.  I did a lot of singing in front of a class of the cutest kids, to the point where I managed to strain my voice.  Later we went to the Nizamuddin Dargah, the mausoleum of Delhi’s most famous sufi saint, to join with the worshippers in listening to Qawwali singers and musicians under the moon, while sitting on the marble courtyard outside the mausoleum.  Incredibly beautiful and very emotional for both Anjali and myself.
         I was a little overwhelmed at the prospect of another forty-five days in India today.  We  were targeted by many different groups of beggars at many places throughout the city.  We were confronted with people with real deformities, as well as a man who had his child’s arm done up in what appeared to be barbecue sauce, along with dozens of small children, and their mothers.  There is a sea of need here, and no response to the outstretched hands changes the over-all situation.
         There are far more Western travelers in Delhi than when we were here five years ago.  We saw lots of Americans and Europeans in neighborhoods where we never saw them before.  It is hard for Anjali to adjust after a lifetime of visiting Delhi and seeing no one but Indians.  She is also stunned by the rampant commercialism and consumerism, which she feels is far beyond what we saw on our last trip.  I’m stunned by fancy nightclubs (that we have not yet visited) that charge $60 a couple.  Are clubs in NYC even that expensive?  Not the ones I have been to.
         There are small signs of Christmas here and there.  Plastic Christmas trees in some fancy clothing stores, and piped-in shopping music that mixes in strange versions of Christmas songs with American top-40 and Bollywood hits.

  • Indian Milkshakes

    As a true lover of milkshakes, I quickly learned in our 2004 India trip that in North India a milkshake literally means a “milk”shake.  Room temperature milk with some flavor shaken (or perhaps stirred) in it.  Even though it was “Winter” while were there, it was always very hot, and I even ended up with heat stroke one day.  We asked everywhere for kulfi, because this “Winter” was hotter than most of an Oregon Summer.  No one carried kulfi, and we were told everywhere we asked that it was the wrong season.  I tried to get my ice cream fix some other way, but flavored milk just didn’t cut it, no matter how interesting the flavor choices.  I did see true milkshakes on a menu once.  I think they were called “frozen” milkshakes or something like that, to differentiate them from the standard Indian milkshake that is nothing like what we call milkshakes in America.  Now you know, if you didn’t already.  It can be quite a disappointment to get a glass of milk on a sweaty hot day when you really want some liquid ice-creamy goodness.

  • Andaz Six-Year Anniversary Party

    Thank you to everyone who came down to celebrate with us at our Andaz six-year anniversary party.  If it wasn’t for the hundreds of you showing up every month, we wouldn’t be entering our seventh year at the Fez Ballroom.  We are off to India for two months, but we will be back with all the wickedest beats the subcontinent has to offer for our return party at the Fez Ballroom on January 31st, 2009.  Thank you!

  • India emails from 2004

    Before I begin sending reports from our current India trip, I thought I would share my emails from India in 2004, thus allowing you to compare my trip responses from five years ago, with those I will soon be sharing.

    *****

    Hello all,

    Exhausted.  End of my third full day in Bombay.  All the locals call it Bombay, not Mumbai.  At least the ones I know.  Eating the most amazing home-cooked Indian meals.  Nothing like anything I’ve had at any Indian restaurant anywhere in the US.  And I’m told by my hosts that it is just simple home cooking.  Now I  understand why my Indian friends say it is the food they miss the most when they are in the States.

    Hearing lots of great Hindi songs on the radio that I can’t wait to play at Andaz and Atlas when I get back.  Bhangra is noticeably absent in Bombay; not that many Punjabis.  Am staying with my friend Rajvi’s family.  There is no room in Bombay because of the World Social Forum so we will have to move on soon so as not to overstay our welcome.  Anju’s grandmother’s town awaits.  Jabulpur? Jubalpur? Jabalpur?  Sorry about that.  This gringo is without a travel book at this computer.

    It is so amazing to spend my time with locals.  So much more involving than going from hotel to hotel and restaurant to restaurant like I did in Central America.  Except for Livingston.  (Hello, Marcos!)  Not that that isn’t an amazing, expansive experience as well, I just feel very fortunate.  In just a few days I have experienced so much and had so much insight into another world that I don’t think I could achieve with just a guidebook.

    I hope everyone is well and hopeful about their future.  Even if I were to return tomorrow I would never be the same again.

    All my best,

    Stephen

    *****

    Hello everyone,

    Still making our way across India.  Left Bombay after a week.  Went to Aurungabad which was our base while we visited famous Buddhist and Hindu carved caves at Ellora and Ajanta.  We are currently in Indore, only as a stopover on our way to the ruins of Mandu.  From there we will come back through Indore on our way to Bhopal.  Bhopal is a stopover on our way to the Buddhist stupas of Sanchi.  From there we are on to Anju’s grandmother’s town of Jabalpur.  From there things are much more open.  After spending time with Anju’s family we will try to see either Kanha wildlife preserve or the famously erotic temple sculpture of Khajuraho, or both.  Then up to Delhi for more family and then on to the Punjab.  Depending on our time we will then fly all the way South to the beaches of Kerala and work our way North to Bombay from where we are departing.
    Travel has its share of hassles but everything has worked out fine so far, although you can’t get too hung up about the money flying out of your pants if you want to have a good time.  The home-cooked Gujrati dishes in Bombay have still been the best but we have discovered many other tasty bites.  I’m trying every version of Gobi Manchurian I can get my hands on.  Chinese food is very
    popular here.

    My encouragement goes out to all of Local 5 in our contract struggle.  I here things are continuing with a federal mediator.  I can’t wait to get home and play the Indian CDs I am collecting. Much great dancing awaits.

    My love to everyone,

    Stephen

    *****

    Hello again,

    Anju and I have been in some pretty remote places, some without even phone service, much less internet connections.  Well, when I traveled to Central America I bragged that I didn’t have so much as a loose stool in two months even though I ate off the street for every meal.  I was feeling a little more timid in India having read so much traveller’s health material before leaving.  Well, my first night in Anju’s family home of Jabalpur I got a little too cocky.  I ate some raw tomatoes in a fresh salad and got violently ill for an entire evening.  I was laid out for the whole week.  The good news was that I was laid up somewhere where Anju had family so she wasn’t held captive in a hotel room with nothing to do, but the bad part was that I didn’t end up spending that much time with her family. Anju ended up getting sick later in the week and I was afraid that as long as we stayed in Jabalpur we’d be passing the sick baton back and forth.  Fortunately after getting waitlisted we managed to take a very comfortable train to Jhansi which was on the way to our current location: Khajuraho.  Khajuraho is famous for its erotic temple sculpture and you get little boys on the street trying to sell you postcard books saying, “Hello, Kama Sutra.”  We leave on Friday for Delhi where we will spend at least a week.  We’re hoping to see some of the nightlife since we didn’t make it out to a single club our first week in Bombay.

    I hope everyone is well.  If anyone in Local 5 wants to send me bargaining updates I’d appreciate any info I can get.  Thanks.

    Stephen

    PS Recommended destinations in India: Mandu and Orchha.  Spend at least 3 nights in both places.  Remote and beautiful ruins, each in their own way.

    *****

    Hello everyone,

    I’m in New Delhi now.  It’s been several days and the time passes very fast here.  Because I haven’t been doing too much in the way of sightseeing (excepting the Lodi Gardens and Jantar Mantar) the city seems like one endless parade of varied shopping districts.  Being aware of all the things that either a) exist only in India or b) are so much cheaper than in America or c) both unavailable otherwise and incredibly cheap, I feel a great compulsion to pick things up before my return to the states.  Instead of Spiritual India it is more like Consumer India.  I’ve even been to McDonalds twice which as Anju first stated is 2 more times than in the last decade.  They have a separate all-veg kitchen and everything on the menu is either highlighted red for non-veg or green for veg.  “Veg” and “Non-Veg” are the universal terms for describing your diet in India.  The McAloo Tikki Burger is gross and only the McVeggie Burger with cheese is tolerable.  The McDonalds’ corporate death machine has now acquired a couple more of my dollars in the service of destroying the earth. The fries weren’t even that warm.  P.S. The first time was for curiosity (Punjabis in turbans behind the counter) the second time was because Anju’s cousins wanted to eat there.

    The World Book Fair just happens to be in New Delhi right now all this week.  We made it tonight.  An hour and a half and we barely scratched the surface of thousands of publisher booths and several gigantic halls in a gargantuan conference center of some sort. Despite how slick everything was the bathrooms were something else entirely.  Bathrooms in India are always an interesting experience.

    THE FOLLOWING IS GROSS

    The first bathroom had an inch of water, didn’t flush and shit was smeared on the walls.  I tried one in a different complex and the tank had been broken in half and was leaking all over the floor, a fresh load sitting in the basin.  Needless to say that one didn’t flush either.  There was no soap in the dispensers.  This is at the World’s largest gathering of book publishers.  Just a little bit of India for you there, folks.  I could actually write quite a bit about the bathrooms of India but I feel they are about to kick me out of this internet cafe because it’s closing time.  Oh yeah, you’re always surprised to find toilet paper because most people use the faucet and bucket method.  I have to admit I’ve gained some facility but it is rarely my first choice.  I don’t know how they manage to dry before getting dressed.

    Thanks to everyone who wrote with housing suggestions.  I’m still in the market.

    Signing off,

    The Incredible Kid

    *****

    Hello,

    Anju and I have finally made it to the Punjab.  Because of how close we are getting to the end of our trip we didn’t know if we would have time.  We are in Chandigarh and that is the only city we will be able to see.  The city was designed by Le Corbusier and it reminds me of American housing projects more than anything.  The greens of the trees are beautiful and give a hint of the legendary fertile soils of the Punjab.  We went to the Nek Chand Rock Garden today.  It is a famous construction of recycled materials, lots of porcelain-mosaic people creations and beautiful walks through organic molded concrete walls and the occasional deceptively realistic molded concrete trees blending in with the real ones.  Much nicer and cooler than I thought it would be.

    Since we are here in the middle of the week we are missing out on any bhangra parties.  We just missed a Jazzy B concert by 3 days.  He is Vancouver-born, UK-residing and actually popular in India unlike almost all bhangra not “folky” and native to Punjab.  Our friend DJ Rekha regaled us with stories of a show of his she saw on the East coast and given how much of his music we have been hearing blasted every day in Delhi it is quite disappointing to realise we missed a show of his, and in Punjab no less.

    We are in the home stretch of our trip.  We are returning to Delhi tomorrow and we fly to Pune on the 26th.  Pune is a hip university/IT town with a great party scene apparently.  We will meet up with our friend Rajvi there for a few days.  Then we return to Bombay for a few days before flying back to Portland. There were times when it seemed like the trip would last forever but it is quickly coming to an end.  I realize some people take vacations that are shorter than how much time we have left but when you watch 6 weeks fly by so quickly it is hard to see it as great deal of time.  For those that care we will be playing at Holocene on March 6th shortly after we return for our international night, “Atlas.”

    I mention so little of this trip that if you have any particular questions feel free to ask.  Thanks for reading.

    Stephen

    *****

    Well, Anju and I have less than a week left in India.  We are currently in the college/OSHO city of Pune, Maharashtra.  We are visiting friends and preparing to return to Bombay tomorrow for the final days of our trip.  Our friend Shreeyash introduced us to his friend Marzban who runs a Denon DJ school/DJ Equipment Rental/Ad Agency/Hi-Fi Salon in Pune.  They certify Indian DJs here.  Everyone plays house/trance/techno.  No one has any interest in Indian music here because it is the constant background noise of their existence. Outside of weddings there appears to be little interest in dancing to Hindi or Punjabi music although DJ Arjun in New Delhi hinted at weekday parties for the hardcore.  We’ve only heard bad “Western” music at the few clubs we’ve experienced.

    Some thoughts for those considering a trip to India:

    1)  All the food will be made very bland for you unless you are fortunate enough to eat in people’s homes. Anju and I have only found one restaurant in all our journeys that would serve us moderately spicy food though we begged and pleaded every time we ate.  They completely change the recipes for Westerners, it’s not even a matter of taking out some of the chilies.

    2)  Most restaurants serve Punjabi food which is the same food considered “Indian” food in the states since it was the Punjabis who populated the world after fleeing Partition in 1947.  You will see many of the same dishes you are used to in the states although unfortunately many of the restaurants here (even recommended ones) can’t even prepare edible roti.  Restaurants from the cheapest to the most expensive are consistently disappointing.  Too much can not be said about the vast superiority of home cooking.

    3)  Vegetarians can eat soup in India (It’s very popular and many varieties are on every menu.) because the broth is always vegetable broth.

    4)  There are many, many beggars, from rapscallion children to mothers with small children to lepers to hunchbacks to the limbless.  One is constantly confronted with poverty and desperate pleas for money.  No
    matter how you respond it never feels good.  Nothing changes the lives of these many millions or the overall situation.

    5)  You will not believe the driving at first but you will soon feel comfortable crossing the median into oncoming traffic while dodging cows, pedestrians, scooters, auto rickshaws and other cars.  So far we have only collided with one scooter in an cycle rickshaw.  We escaped with bruised knees.

    6)  If you are white you are a target.  People will constantly try to sell you something or get something from you.  People will either be incredibly rude or try to convince you they’re you’re friend.

    7)  Things are so polluted the sun usually disappears long before it
    hits the horizon.

    8) There are always fireworks and loud marching bands because these always accompany weddings.

    9)  I have a hard time understanding Indian English, Indians have trouble understanding me, and I often can’t tell if I’m being spoken to in Hindi or English.

    10)  If you plan to travel in Central or Northern India take the time to learn some Hindi.  I feel like you are not even considered human until you show that you know some Hindi.  Until then you are just fleshly transport for your wallet.

    11)  I hope to be back for much longer periods of time.  There is far, far too much to see in several months. India is amazing.

    Thanks,

    IncKid

  • Bollywood Gets Obscene

    I listen to lots of music that makes frequent use of Anglo-Saxon words, but I didn’t expect “foul” language from Bollywood songs until recently.  2008 is the year Bollywood songs began to feature English obscenities. As far as I can tell, Hard Kaur apparently gets the credit for the first use of the word “bitch” in a Bollywood song for her performance in “Move Your Body Now (Remix)” from the Kismat Connection soundtrack.  But, I’m not 100% sure of this, because it may have been another Bollywood song where I first heard her utter that slur.  Close on the heels of that soundtrack, C Kkompany’s first song features the observation “Life is a bitch.”  But the clear winner in the upping the cuss word ante in Bollywood is Mission Istanbul which begins by screaming “bullshit” a bunch and only gets more obscene from there.  What this means is that I now have to pay extra close attention on our KBOO radio show when playing current Bollywood songs, since it is before 10pm, and thus subject to FCC restrictions on language content.   I remember when (much to my regret, as I hate bleeps, and have no problem with Anglo-Saxon terminology) even Panjabi songs would bleep out the Anglo-Saxon words uttered by their foul mouthed guest rappers, but they got over that years ago.  Now even Bollywood music is eligible for a parental advisory sticker.  No shit.

    IK

  • Generalizations about Desi vs. Gora taste in Bollywood music

    In my many years of throwing Bollywood DJ parties for a mixed crowd, I have noticed a remarkable consistency in the difference in taste between  the goras and the desis.  Whenever Anjali or I are talking to a gora about our parties they always want to know if we play vintage Bollywood. That is their sole concern, to verify that we play retro Bollywood at our parties.  They are only interested in attending to the extent that we reassure them that we play old school Bollywood in our sets.  Contrastingly, whenever we talk to desis about our parties, they want to to be reassured that we play “new songs” in our sets.   Sometimes desis will need many reassurances in our conversations.

    “You play new songs at your party?”

    “Yes, new songs.”

    “New songs?  You play new songs?”

    “Yes, new songs. Yes.”

    The desis are usually so skeptical about this point that I have to rattle off the names of new soundtracks to assuage their fears, that yes, we do know the new songs.  Usually I feel like the conversation ends with the desi still unbelieving that we really play “new songs” at our parties.  Of course what amuses me is that since I buy the vast majority of (usually awful) Bollywood soundtracks the moment they are released, I am usually more up on the “new songs” than the desis themselves.  Regular readers of this blog are no doubt familiar with my standard complaint that most desis who want to hear “new” Bollywood songs are usually asking for songs that are six months or more old that have been thoroughly disseminated throughout the desi diaspora.  When I play the songs from soundtracks that have just been released, in advance of the actual films, most of the desis in attendance at our parties don’t know the songs, and are not happy with the selections.  So if you say you want to hear “new” songs, be careful what you wish for, as I am more than capable of playing the very newest songs, that you most likely have never even heard.

    These generalizations are just that, of course: generalizations.  I know desis who love the old songs, and have no taste for the new.  These are the ones who request songs from the ’70s and write and underline “NO REMIXES” on the request board next to their songs.  And there is a growing group of goras who keep up with the new songs, and request contemporary Bollywood songs.

    I love people who aren’t predictable, but most people are.

    IK

  • It really is the most popular question

    I titled my prior blog post about our upcoming trip to India “Excited About India?” because invariably that is the first question everyone, and I mean everyone, asks me when I tell them about our plans.  It happens like clockwork in every interaction.  So since writing the post, every time someone approaches me about our trip, and begins by asking, “Are you excited about India?” I say, “Actually I have a blog post entitled ‘Excited About India?’ that addresses that very question.  Of course people want me to tell them, not go read a blog post.  Oh, well.  I tried.

  • ATLAS 5 Year Anniversary Party

    Thank you to everyone who came down to celebrate the five year anniversary of Atlas at Holocene.  Thanks to all of your support Atlas is by far the longest-running party at Holocene.  It felt great that 500 of you cared enough to come down and dance and wish us well.  It was a wonderful anniversary: all that we could have asked for and more.  We will be taking December off, and E3 will bring Atlas back January 10th, while Anjali and I are still in India.  We will return to Atlas on Valentine’s Day, February 14th, 2009.  How sweet.  Thanks for a great five years.  Here’s to another five!

    IK

  • Need Help With Indian English?

    Lonely Planet has published a guide to Indian English. While many jokes in America have to do with Indian call center operators trying to sound American, it will only be a matter of time until Texans are learning how to pronounce English in an Indian manner, so they can work in American call centers to answer questions from customers in India.  In case you didn’t know, there are more English speakers in South Asian than anywhere else in the world.  As this area rises in political and economic influence, Indian English will become the international standard of the 21st century.  People like me, who have a great deal of difficulty understanding Indian English, are fortunate to finally have a guidebook to help them through the transition to the world’s new dominant strain of English.

    IK